Monday, November 18, 2013

Leadership 101 as a parent

There was intense pain but I could not show it on my face. My daughter was keenly watching me and I suddenly felt I cannot show the fear of pain to her anymore since she might also become afraid later. Nevertheless when a dentist puts in two injections inside your mouth and pries open your jaws for 20 minutes, it does pain - at least till the numbness sets in.

So, it is in this context of a dental visit that some of my thoughts here on how my kid is learning from what am doing stepped from.

There has always been this quote from Sadhguru on my mind - "When a child has come into your life, it is time to learn and not teach". I thought I understood it well but am not sure anymore now! There seem to be a myriad dimensions to this one statement.

One aspect of it was the literal meaning that I took. I started observing how she learns from life and it has never ceased to amaze me from then till now as to how the children 'sponge-absorb' things & events from around them. Yes, we do teach her a thing or two as she feels necessary. In fact, Abi has been doing most of Isha's coaching with me watching from the sidelines. I have been more of a passive teacher so far for her. But the compulsion to push her academically is not there in us to the extent I see in so many other parents.

Today, Abi was talking about a long discussion she had with Swami Suyagna from Isha Foundation. I was asleep at that time and when I woke up, she narrated a gist of it to me. Unconsciously at first and then in awareness tears started flowing down my eyes because I felt touched by the deep management science that Swami was bestowing on her. Bearing a slight jealousy for the honour showered on her (of course she fully deserved it!), I kept listening.

Soon, a thought came in that what Swami spoke about leadership, mentoring, coaching, managing, etc. applies not just to corporates but also to me as a parent! After all, if making another Abirami or Rajasekhar is tough enough at office, imagine how tough it is to bring up your child to your potential at least. And Sadhguru says your child should dare to do things which you have not even dreamed of!

It was then that I suddenly realized Isha naturally prefers to do what we do at home very intensely, like me cleaning the house or Abi's dedication to Bhairavi or drawing for that matter. I certainly have to do better than what am doing in grooming her from now on.

An experiential realization dawned on me that leaders exist at all levels. Every one is a leader in their own right and they have a dedicated group of followers, whether they know it or not. What kind of society we will create in future clearly depends on how leaders of today, which is basically everyone, exist & influence by example.

I definitely feel the need to dig deeper in me to find the necessary integrity & courage to lead my life better and keep that striving for constant improvement burning.

1 comment:

Vuppaladhadiam Vijayamohan said...

From Children, the main thing to learn is - to be happy with every small thing and happening ; to forget every pain and suffering the moment it is over; to fight softly and love intensely; to sleep like world doesn't exist. That's all.